I have to tell you the story behind this photo. It was once a mural painted on the wall of my old bedroom as a teenager. My mom took this photo around 2002 before she painted over it, about the time I moved out at 17. My nickname and street name was “Nelly”, way before “Country Grammer” was a hit song. But I can rap, too.
This painting was done by a train tagger from Pennsylvania, who went by the tag “GO”. He is the nephew of a lady I went to church with, so when he came to spend the summer with his aunt, we met at church. It was painted around 2001/2002. I used my bedroom walls as a journal. Typically teenager, I had posters up, stickers, and would write with a pen or pencil – all over! Who I dated, who I kissed and when. You get the idea. It was covered!
So rewinding a bit, I moved out at about 16/17 to become a caregiver for this rich lady in the hills of SW Portland, but I only lasted a weekend in her mansion. When I moved back into my room, my mom had painted my walls all white again and told me I was not allowed to poke anymore holes in them, or write on them with pens and markers.
So one summer day, this tagger friend came over to hang out and I told him to tag my wall using some of my moms’ paint’s. When she came home and saw what he did, furious wouldn’t do the description Justice. And clear as day, I told her “You didn’t say I couldn’t use paint!” I’m pretty sure she cried. I don’t recall getting grounded, but the beating I should have received was illegal. He did the tag of my name “Nelly”, but I did the stars and the two boxes that said “Gone Too Far” and sure enough I’d gone too far. I’ll take this moment to say sorry to my mom. Sorry, Mom.
This painting. These words. This captured image of a moment in time, perfectly encapsulated me. I’d gone too far. Life from 12-18 was a tail spin of one bad decision after another. I didn’t come back from the cliff until 2003 when I got pregnant with my oldest son at 17. Having Christian, saved my life, and got me off the streets.
But before that, this photo perfectly describes my youth. I’d gone too far!
Outnumbered Six to One 