Every so often, usually a few times a year, I get this exploding urge inside my chest to pack up the whole family and move to Texas. That urge is upon me again. In times past, I will begin intensely researching towns, schools, house prices, jobs. And by whole family, I mean I’ve talked to my parents and in-laws, my ex husband, and even his ex wife! 95% of us are on board and wish for the same. The hold outs are my in-laws and my dad.
When David and I have discussed it, the only reason holding us back in this shit hole state is our kids relationship with our parents. I guess neither of us want to take them away from them. We see them weekly for family dinner, they babysit for us, etc. They’re very attached to all 4 of their grandparents!!!
Our financial nest egg is in our home and if the market tanks, it’s gone. Which is saying a lot cause a manufactured home in a park sell for $150k right now. It won’t be like this forever but this is all we have.
So this is the debate/battle in my head: if we were in Texas, we could put the kids in public school and I’d be able to work on my mental health. Then I’m reminded that all public schools are trash and we don’t want that for our kids. But I wonder if we could do a few years in it til we’re settled, and then move them to private school. We can’t afford private school here, even if I worked full time too. I’m told they have a way better homeschool community than up here. I haven’t ruled out continuing to homeschool – I’m just not sure if I can get better while homeschooling them.
The PNW is beautiful and we’re totally spoiled having the ocean a few hours away. But there are hills and rivers in Texas, and a gorgeous coast line too!!!
What I really want to know is why these strong urges roll over me and I cannot function to do anything else. It completely consumes my thoughts, I envision living there, I can barely get any other work done for weeks! I want to run away and I want to know why?!?!? I tell myself “the grass won’t be greener on the other side. All your issues here will follow you.” —But will they? I’m not so sure. If I felt safer and surrounded by like minded people, I feel like I would be happier. Warm and sunny most days, would bring my Vit D levels out of the toilet. I could tell the boys to go play outside 9 months out of the year, in a safe and secure backyard. We’ll never afford a stick build house up here if I want to continue to be a SAHM. Our only chance of owning a real home, without me being forced into the workplace and all kids in varying levels of daycare til 6pm, is moving out of state. We don’t want that life for our kids either.
We agree that we don’t want to raise our kids here. This city and state isn’t the one we grew up in all our lives. We just don’t want to take our kids away from their grandparents! I feel torn. I feel panicked. I hate this place. Covid has brought this state into depths of unimaginable despair. I want to put a For Sale sign in the yard tomorrow, and bail!!!
Outnumbered Six to One 