I will say I’m glad to know I still have feelings because I have cried no less than 5 times today. It’s Mother’s Day, for Pete sake, and they still manage to make me cry.
The last 6 weeks I have wondered if the psilocybin treatment knocked me offline entirely when it came to feelings. I have been almost numb. Not even close to complaining. I’ve been enjoying this freedom, and fresh air again. My brain isn’t on a negative pain loop 24/7, 365. Life has been 1,000 times better. I’ve been happy. Beaming from ear to ear. Overjoyed and thankful beyond words!
So today’s random bursts of tears were welcomed. I can’t pin point exactly why some of them happened. I’m digging deep to assess it, but I haven’t found an answer yet. Maybe they have to do with Josh not being here. Maybe this is me learning how to have an emotional response and learn from it instead of stuff it like before.
Either way, today didn’t go as plan and was complete garbage. 5 hours at Xfinity and AT&T store to get my entire family’s phones working. Back and forth, back and forth.
To top all that off, a skunk let off a stink bomb in the crawl space under my master bedroom so we’ve slept in the living room all weekend while the odor bag does it’s thing. Happy to return to sleeping in my room tonight, but it wasn’t the funnest “glamping” experience.
Hope you guys had a better weekend than myself. I hope to have a better week and hopefully the women’s retreat next weekend will make up for this crappy weekend!
Happy Mother’s Day, either way.
Outnumbered Six to One 