Life has been beyond crazy these last few months. A few of the highlights would be the upcoming promotion we’ve received. We’re going to become grandparents. Yes, I know. It’s absolutely mind-blowing that I’m old enough to have a grand baby – but I am pushing 40 and my oldest is almost 20. To make it even better, it is a boy! As if they could shatter that glass ceiling! I’m not sure I’ll ever see a granddaughter, but having a grandson first to be protector over the ones coming after will be great. In addition to this huge change, they have moved into our home to prepare for the upcoming birth. My son realized that his dad wasn’t going to be able to mend their relationship. I am extremely happy that they are here with us. Now baby gear is starting to flood our home, and it is really boosting the excitement once more. This time, we’ll get to spoil him and give him back.
I am probably also going through my own mini mid-life crisis. I have been constantly wondering what I am doing with my life and what I want to do going forward. I have a few business and design ideas because I’ve always been trying to figure out a way to create something that solves a pain point. I’m told that is how money is created. Back in April, my husband and I drove 3 hours east to a small tourist town and during this drive, we turned off our cell phones, threw them in the glove box, and chatted freely about business concepts. I had one brewing in my mind that I wanted to bounce off him but the last thing I needed is for Google to send me ad suggestions the next day. I absolutely hate that our phones listen to us. I haven’t been about to figure out a way to get it to stop so I am just cautious about what I say and search, but I swear this thing can read my mind some days.
I have also been wondering about what life would have been like if I hadn’t had a child at such a young age. Recently I found a folder of old songs and a college paper I wrote from an interview I did with a local radio station. My husband and I even met singing at a bar. I like to think I can sing and music was a huge part of my early/mid teen years. I remember the rap/hip-hop radio station and wanting to record with some local artists I knew. I didn’t realize until recently how big a piece of my life music was before having my son. For the second time, I’ve checked the box that I’d be available to sing on the worship team at church so we’ll see what happens.
As for other thoughts, I am very much tired of hiding behind a computer screen in how I feel about things going on in this country. I really enjoy investigative research and feel that I have a good pulse on the issues of our day from the “conspiracy theorist” side. I watch The Highwire every week and have been a recurring donor since 2016. I believe in the work that they do and I’d love to be apart of their organization. I feel that I have a lot to give to a company but I haven’t found a way to get my foot in the door. I wonder if a move to another state is needed in order to do the kind of work I want to do. I daydream about living in DC and snooping around the belly of the beast. I wish I had joined the FBI. My interaction with them at 17 will always stick with me. I should have applied to law school. I stand for truth and justice to the depths of my core. I was created to do more than cook food and mop floors. I wish I had a larger platform and knew more like-minded people in real life. I want to stand for a cause and make a difference in this world. I want to be on the right side of history and help our country not fall into totalitarianism. Clearly, I have a huge wish list and a dismal sized foot. Slowly, one foot in front of the other, some day I hope to achieve my goals. I want to write books. I want a podcast. I want to give a speech to a large crowd. I want to be involved more. I want to fly around the country. I want to give a Ted Talk!!
….Someday.
Outnumbered Six to One 