If my cousin Octavia was alive, I'm pretty sure she'd have been my biggest cheerleader over the last 6 months. Her life was cut short by cancer in September of 2020, and I miss her dearly. She was an amazing psychologist with a ginormous heart, and we always had the most profound intellectual conversations. This … Continue reading The Case for Psilosybin
Author: Outnumberedsixtoone
Things Changed. Now what?
We’re a week into my husband having a new job. He’s been unemployed for 5.5 months. Intentionally for the first 4 months as he studied for tax school. He decided he didn’t want a desk job in the end, so after a month of DoorDash, he got a delivery driver job for a large aerospace … Continue reading Things Changed. Now what?
It’s Been a Few Weeks Cause of Covid
Covid hit our house, so the last few weeks have been....interesting. I’d say we’re about 98% recovered. The mental piece is something people don’t talk about. It’s the remaining 2% around here. In full transparency, I thought I was going to die a few weeks ago. Never in my life had I experienced high BP, … Continue reading It’s Been a Few Weeks Cause of Covid
Little Crayons, Big Gain
I can’t begin to describe how a silly pile of crayons changed my perspective this week. Mom guilt eating me alive is that I don’t have the energy to play with my kids most days. We have a plethora of arts and crafts, but I’ve always kept them in a cupboard. They rarely come out, … Continue reading Little Crayons, Big Gain
You Know What? I’m Absolutely Bitter!!!
I started listening to a new podcast series. A mama who also found her son dead like me. And it was over 13 years ago, so she has time and distance on her side as well. I’m really getting into the episodes. It’s helping with the messiness of grief, and trust me, there is a … Continue reading You Know What? I’m Absolutely Bitter!!!
Grief “Share” or Lack There Of
Why don’t I share openly about grief with my family? I feel like it’s something I’m doing in secret. The podcast I listen to only in my car alone, the social media comments/posts I do. It feels shameful or dark. Like I don’t want to drag anyone down with me, so distance is better. Just … Continue reading Grief “Share” or Lack There Of
Stumbling Through Grief
Recently I have been really pushing into my grief. When a negative shame script starts creeping into my mind, I’m able to pause the thought and funnel it through the lens of grieving. “What am I grieving over?” When I get angry at myself for not being able to take the kids outside when they … Continue reading Stumbling Through Grief
Giving It My All….Again
Another great chat with my hubby this evening. We both agree moving doesn’t solve the issues we’re dealing with. We know they’ll just follow us wherever we go. Neither of us had ever dreamed about moving out of state. With that said, there are a very select few reasons we would actually try and move. … Continue reading Giving It My All….Again
Healing Doesn’t Happen in the Darkness
“Healing doesn’t happen in the darkness.” That’s what I told my pastor today in a lengthy email after church. I wrote out many ways in which PTSD stops me from living. I felt the need to share it with him. Keeping it to myself doesn’t help. We’re a few days into 2022, and I’m already … Continue reading Healing Doesn’t Happen in the Darkness
2021 -That’s a wrap folks!
Honestly, today I have been in a funk. Yesterday I had visioned hubby and I taking our three boys to Costco but we didn’t have the energy. That happens a lot. We did take them outside to play in the snow 3 times this week, so we’ll count that as winning. As 2021 ends, I’m … Continue reading 2021 -That’s a wrap folks!
Outnumbered Six to One 