Why don’t I share openly about grief with my family? I feel like it’s something I’m doing in secret. The podcast I listen to only in my car alone, the social media comments/posts I do. It feels shameful or dark. Like I don’t want to drag anyone down with me, so distance is better. Just … Continue reading Grief “Share” or Lack There Of
Tag: anxiety
Stumbling Through Grief
Recently I have been really pushing into my grief. When a negative shame script starts creeping into my mind, I’m able to pause the thought and funnel it through the lens of grieving. “What am I grieving over?” When I get angry at myself for not being able to take the kids outside when they … Continue reading Stumbling Through Grief
Giving It My All….Again
Another great chat with my hubby this evening. We both agree moving doesn’t solve the issues we’re dealing with. We know they’ll just follow us wherever we go. Neither of us had ever dreamed about moving out of state. With that said, there are a very select few reasons we would actually try and move. … Continue reading Giving It My All….Again
Healing Doesn’t Happen in the Darkness
“Healing doesn’t happen in the darkness.” That’s what I told my pastor today in a lengthy email after church. I wrote out many ways in which PTSD stops me from living. I felt the need to share it with him. Keeping it to myself doesn’t help. We’re a few days into 2022, and I’m already … Continue reading Healing Doesn’t Happen in the Darkness
2021 -That’s a wrap folks!
Honestly, today I have been in a funk. Yesterday I had visioned hubby and I taking our three boys to Costco but we didn’t have the energy. That happens a lot. We did take them outside to play in the snow 3 times this week, so we’ll count that as winning. As 2021 ends, I’m … Continue reading 2021 -That’s a wrap folks!
My Mental Swings and His Whiplash
Hubby and I have been deep in conversation surrounding my re-diagnosis of PTSD from a few weeks ago. In true fashion of self, I have been doing a deep dive into learning about it, coping with it, and learning how to heal from it. If I am anything, I am a fighter. I may feel … Continue reading My Mental Swings and His Whiplash
Christmas Eve 2021
This is going to be more of a journal entry, as opposed to a blog. I want to write down what happened for memory keeping sake. But it’s relevant. It fits. It’s my life, and how un-fitting it is that crap like this, fit. My son Matthew is 4 and has mild Cerebral Palsy. He … Continue reading Christmas Eve 2021
I’m going nuts, Texas!
Every so often, usually a few times a year, I get this exploding urge inside my chest to pack up the whole family and move to Texas. That urge is upon me again. In times past, I will begin intensely researching towns, schools, house prices, jobs. And by whole family, I mean I’ve talked to … Continue reading I’m going nuts, Texas!
The Raw Truth – Part Three, of many
I spend time wondering if my ability to irrationally panic inside my brain, would be considered a “flashback” or if it’s just being irrational. Is it considered “expected”, given what I’ve been through? Will it ever get better? Cause it’d definitely gotten worse over the years. Here me out.... I have this unique super power … Continue reading The Raw Truth – Part Three, of many
My Daily Devotional and a Christian Comedian
I’m a daily reader in the YouVersion Bible app. I enjoy their small Bible reading plans, I can tailor it to an emotion I need help processing through. This morning I decided to search for “PTSD”, and nothing came up outside the lens of veterans in the military. I was very bummed about it. I … Continue reading My Daily Devotional and a Christian Comedian
Outnumbered Six to One 