Life has been beyond crazy these last few months. A few of the highlights would be the upcoming promotion we've received. We're going to become grandparents. Yes, I know. It's absolutely mind-blowing that I'm old enough to have a grand baby - but I am pushing 40 and my oldest is almost 20. To make … Continue reading So What’s New With Me?
You’d be 10 now. I cannot believe how the time has flied this last decade. It feels so surreal that I’ve made it to this point. Today I am happy with where I’m going. This year felt healing for once. We brought you off the shelf and made a little display area for you to … Continue reading Happy 10th Birthday, Joshua.
I will say I’m glad to know I still have feelings because I have cried no less than 5 times today. It’s Mother’s Day, for Pete sake, and they still manage to make me cry. The last 6 weeks I have wondered if the psilocybin treatment knocked me offline entirely when it came to feelings. … Continue reading Mother’s Day 2022
I’m not sure my mind has ever been this clear. I have never been this full of energy, life, the gumption to do anything! I wake up everyday looking forward to who knows what, and that is so exciting to me. But....I can’t even begin to put into word my feelings. The emotions that come … Continue reading Oh The Irony LOL
We’re a week into my husband having a new job. He’s been unemployed for 5.5 months. Intentionally for the first 4 months as he studied for tax school. He decided he didn’t want a desk job in the end, so after a month of DoorDash, he got a delivery driver job for a large aerospace … Continue reading Things Changed. Now what?
I can’t begin to describe how a silly pile of crayons changed my perspective this week. Mom guilt eating me alive is that I don’t have the energy to play with my kids most days. We have a plethora of arts and crafts, but I’ve always kept them in a cupboard. They rarely come out, … Continue reading Little Crayons, Big Gain
Why don’t I share openly about grief with my family? I feel like it’s something I’m doing in secret. The podcast I listen to only in my car alone, the social media comments/posts I do. It feels shameful or dark. Like I don’t want to drag anyone down with me, so distance is better. Just … Continue reading Grief “Share” or Lack There Of
Recently I have been really pushing into my grief. When a negative shame script starts creeping into my mind, I’m able to pause the thought and funnel it through the lens of grieving. “What am I grieving over?” When I get angry at myself for not being able to take the kids outside when they … Continue reading Stumbling Through Grief
Another great chat with my hubby this evening. We both agree moving doesn’t solve the issues we’re dealing with. We know they’ll just follow us wherever we go. Neither of us had ever dreamed about moving out of state. With that said, there are a very select few reasons we would actually try and move. … Continue reading Giving It My All….Again
“Healing doesn’t happen in the darkness.” That’s what I told my pastor today in a lengthy email after church. I wrote out many ways in which PTSD stops me from living. I felt the need to share it with him. Keeping it to myself doesn’t help. We’re a few days into 2022, and I’m already … Continue reading Healing Doesn’t Happen in the Darkness
Outnumbered Six to One 